Sometimes we love jokes that are more than just simple jokes about Tom, Harry or Santa, Banta. Sometimes we love it dark, darker than most of our thoughts and other times some geek jokes that are so silly that are actually funny, like this
Below down is the list of geekiest jokes you will ever read, get ready to shout Geek Out Loud!
Bad timing here ;-(
INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate and Dejected
Dear Desperate and Dejected
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: i_thought_you_loved_me.msi and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the F*rting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
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These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.
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Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep.
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth an eighth, and so on.
The bartender looks at the line going out the door,turns to the line and says "you guys suck!".
Then he pours two beers and walks away.
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f(x) = 3x^2 walks into a bar. The barman says," Sorry! we don't cater functions."
f '(x) = 6x walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't cater for functions."
Some people might object that these are the same joke. In fact they're not, but the second one is derivative.
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Two hydrogen atoms are talking.
Atom 1: I just don't feel right since I lost my electron.
Atom 2: Lost your electron! Are you certain?
Atom 1: I'm positive.
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